The terrible twins
In learning of things of self, I have discovered much about humans and their psyche. Some concepts were easy to understand yet not always so easy to implement, some concepts were just grasped once learning of them and that was it. They were just that: learned and therefore implemented forevermore in my awareness.
Take, for example, panic attacks. I only had two or three of them, but when I did, I found out what and why they were. Once I did figure out their nature, they were gone.
I brought them to light. Dragged into my awareness, as it were. They then disintegrated.
Now let’s talk about desire.
Desire is good as it is the keystone of all creativity, but not always is it so friendly. See, desire is not just one thing, but two.
The terrible twins. And these twins are so intermingled, so entwined that you may not realize that they are indeed two distinct, opposite things.
They are in your head. Desire makes us want and not want at the same time. The essence of two opposing forces. One side pulls as the other pushes away.
As an example, a person desiring a new thing won’t be satisfied without first trying to hinder the old unwanted thing. Said person obviously desires something else. Maybe we are irritated because some situation is not as we would want it to be. We repel this happening as we think this is the cause of our discomfort growing inside of us. But actually the cause of the thwarting is hidden within the desire itself.
The thing about desire is that it itself is incomplete in form. To desire anything is a yearning for something or more of something. The makeup of something that yearns means that it is incomplete.
Whatever our desire is trying to receive, the subject of something we see or feel, means that it is also trying to get away from something at the same time. If you want to get a new job or career, that means you also don’t want the one you have now. I am sure you can think of lots of different scenarios of what I am speaking applies to, but at the end of the day, there is this: Whatever we are trying to get is never going to satisfy our inner desires. There will always be a longing for more, better, bigger. There may be momentary pleasure and satisfaction, but it will fade. Then what? More discomfort and pain while we go searching and/or striving again for the new thing while trying to eliminate from our lives the old thing.
This is what this article is about. The realization that the old thing you are fighting to get rid of is not causing our inner turmoil. The resistance you feel is actually still identifying you with the old thing.
You may have walked into the DMV to see a line a mile long, it seems. Your desire to be at the beginning of line and be done with your vehicle stately duties could cause mental anguish. You could get mad that this will take the rest of your day. You could blame the fact that there is one of the stations not manned by someone so that the ride would move faster. You could storm out and say that you were just going to steal the plates off some other car so that you didn’t have to deal with the DMV at all. All this is the desire in which the potential pain exists. Not the DMV. The DMV is what it is.
So, you see desire is actually two ‘masters’ in one; it wants and doesn’t want at the same time. Because of this, desire cannot ever give itself the wholeness it longs for. It also cannot ever rise above and know its divided state. It just is desire. So to find a way to reconcile the turmoil that may come with desire is an outside force.
That force is you. Your higher awareness.
Once you recognize what desire is and the fact that it is defending itself and using you to do this, you can now set yourself apart from its dastardly motives and just observe. Once it is observed, it will slink back into a state of being calm and reserved.
If you have learned from and implemented this, you are now released from the terrible twins’ illusion. I know that just writing this article has somewhat enlightened me.